submitted by Hails
I’ve always been someone who actively avoids bandwagons. If something gets recommended to me, I’m immediately suspicious. I ask “Ok, but why is it so popular?” If it’s selling like hot cakes, then I’m staying the hell away from it. Trends make me nervous.
I know I’m not a ~*~unique snowflake~*~, but I do think this line of thinking has helped me out. By that, I mean not needing to feel like I “fit in.” Granted I struggled with this a lot in middle school and into high school, but as an adult, I feel strong as hell in my convictions and the friendships I do have.
I see so many people on social media who are friends with and/or following other folks that they don’t like or that offend them. I’ll have friends talk to me and say “ugh this person said this racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist/etc. thing on my post/feed today, again.”
My advice, every single time is: UNFRIEND/UNFOLLOW THEM.
This is immediately followed up with “I can’t.” And then some excuses as to why, usually along the lines of this being someone from their past or someone connected to their job (which, let’s be real, you shouldn’t be FB friends with coworkers, as is, BUT THAT’S ANOTHER RANT.)
I follow and am friends with people who I don’t agree with on petty things. Like crystals and hula hoops. And that’s fine. Whatever. We obviously have other things in common and generally get along.
But if someone in your feed is making statements that uphold the systematic, pervasive persecution of a group of people, and that bothers you even in the SLIGHTEST, then it’s time to cut the cord.
If they are your REAL friend, they will be able to contact you outside of Facebook. They’ll know your email, your phone number, WHERE YOU LIVE, etc. And likely, that type of person ISN’T someone who is saying this prejudiced shit to begin with.
And here’s the thing. These people? They aren’t going to change their minds from reading your posts. They won’t have an epiphany. They will not read that article you posted and suddenly see the light. What they will DEFINITELY DO is make some ignorant comment and start a FB war with everyone else.
If someone says something terrible one time, you call them out, they learn something and admit that, ok. But these people who continuously say horrific shit – why are you still their friend? Because do you know that that person probably thinks? That person thinks that your friendship means that you agree with them, secretly or not.
It’s not 2005. We are not in a race to have the most amount of Facebook friends. And why should I humor and “silently agree” with people who say truly offensive and, more importantly, HARMFUL things?
I guess all I’m trying to say is – don’t be afraid to cut electronic ties with people.
The internet is not a beauty pageant and you are not trying to win the crown of Miss Congeniality.
hails is a woman who doesn’t take any shit but would probably help you move if you bribed her with beer.